How hard can it be…
…to be fashionable? Well, if you’re anything like me, it could possibly be one of the trickier and more elusive things you’re ever likely to tackle. Some people are just naturals at looking good, dressing well, and being in-tune with their physical appearance. The rest of us, well… It’s just not that simple.
So what exactly is it I’m trying to do here? Well, if you’re new to this blog, I guess I’ll try to explain it to the both of us. I’m not entirely sure myself.
I guess I’m trying to become more… Er, girly? Maybe that’s not entirely right. Maybe I’m just attempting to really put some effort into the way I look. Not that I go around looking like a hobo all of the time (just most of it), but the fact that I roll out of bed five minutes before class and throw on the sweats that I wore the day before isn’t lost on me.
What am I working with here?
Hm. Well. My life is generally one lived on the principles of procrastination– put off everything you can until the last possible moment, and not a second before. And if something doesn’t need to be done as a pressing, life-or-death matter… It generally goes undone. This includes my appearance, which up till now has been relatively low on my personal importance list.
So what DO I do? Well. I shower. Regularly, I promise! …Mostly. (Oh God, why am I doing this again? Because brutal honesty is the best way to go.) I brush my teeth. And sometimes I go get my hair cut. (Though more on that later.) Oh! And when I’m really bored and have nothing else to do, I’ll sometimes paint my nails. Really, I like painting my nails, but like all other things, it tends to get shunted to the side until there just isn’t time.
As far as clothes… Well, I think I’ve come at least a little bit farther in that area. When I was in High School I went through a mini-goth phase, so most of my clothing was black. I also had problems with my self-esteem and a self-consciousness about my weight, so most of them were baggy and shapeless and just BIG. It wasn’t flattering, but it wasn’t meant to be. I was trying to hide behind it. I didn’t want to own up to the way I looked– I didn’t want to own up to my body. I didn’t want to be noticed. So I never learned to put on makeup, or to do anything more with my hair than throw it up in a ponytail. I went more with personal comfort than any discernible style, which actually came to be known as ‘Kiah style’.
I have a reputation for wearing socks with holes, and my favorite article of clothing is a pair of lounge pants with black and white stripes that my mother would give anything to throw out.
Still, in the past three years or so I’ve tried to revert my wardrobe. I’ve tried to buy more flattering clothing, stuff with color that can be mixed and matched but still looks nice. I have worked pretty hard at getting accustomed to the way I look, and wearing things that are more form-fitting. I let my mother dress me. (Well, sort of.)
But I don’t want to be like that anymore.
What are my goals, then?
I guess what I’m counting on is this blog, which is actually a school project disguised as something fun and interesting, will force me to make time for myself and my appearance. It will make me take a minute to focus on how I appear to everyone else in the world. And that can’t possibly be a bad thing, right? I’m looking forward to it, even. And maybe, if I do it often enough, it’ll become something natural.
When my mom went to college in Miami, Florida, her roommate would spend at least a half-hour every morning doing her hair and makeup.
Then they would walk to class in extreme wind, and it would all be ruined.
But the point is, at least she TOOK the time to try. It was part of her routine to try to make herself look pretty. I’m not saying I’m out husband-shopping, or even so much that I’m doing this for anyone else. I’m doing it for myself. I WANT to make myself feel good. And I think that if I look good, it will help me feel that way as well.
My mom always liked to say that we should wear nice underwear, instead of plain white ones. When I asked why, she said that even though nobody was probably going to see it, we would know it was there, and it would help is feel better. (Well, and of course if you were in an accident the ambulance people wouldn’t see nasty old boring underwear.) And she was right– on both counts.
In short, I’m going to:
- Learn to put on makeup.
- Do several different things with my hair that AREN’T a ponytail.
- Actually unpack my nice clothes.
- Stop wearing my sweatpants outside of my room.
- Learn things about fashion and taking care of myself.
- Chronicle my failures and successes as faithfully as I know how.
Wish me luck!
I don’t know if I have it in me to do all this. I’m going to try it in steps, but I already know it won’t be easy. The biggest roadblock will be in my head– I’ve spent a lot of years convincing myself that my own upkeep was the least of my worries. Maybe the big thing will be trying to spend time and effort on myself for a change– who knows. But I really hope this works. 🙂
Thanks, see you around,